31 January 2006

I did find my Bible -- someone had taken it thinking it was someone else's. So they put it in this girl's mailbox, and naturally she thought someone was GIVING her an English Bible, which really impressed her. Until she saw a bunch of Chinese papers in there (from Hong Kong) -- then she realized it was mine. 

But thanks for those of you who asked -- it's all fine now. 

. . .

Meanwhile, somewhere in Japan...

4 February 2006

I think this is completely nuts: 

For the fourth or fifth time since I've been in Japan, I have just NOW discovered an incredible new artist, gone to their website, and seen that they are, at the *VERY MOMENT* I am reading their website, giving a performance in Shibuya (which is about 90 minutes from here and one of my favorite places to go when I have a free afternoon). 

This time, it's a girl named Kate Havnevik, and she's performing -- AS I TYPE THESE WORDS -- with Royskopp over in Shibuya. I mean, geez, I'd love to have seen Royskopp, you know? But to see them with this chick, too. Geez. 

I have had this experience with several people -- most notably Copeland, who happened to be by far my favorite band the night I saw they were playing Shibuya. Really -- my newest favoritest band, and I was missing the ONE SHOW of theirs I could actually go see!!

And what I am thinking just now, as I'm trying to process why this keeps happening to me, is if the REASON for it happening is that somehow, cosmically, I *NEED* to miss those shows. Cause I mean, if this happened ONCE, it would be freaky -- "DUDE! I looked on their website and they were playing in Shibuya RIGHT THEN!" -- but for it to happen... let's see... FOUR times -- that is just CRAZY, and there must be something of the hand of Providence behind it. 

Right?!? 

Which all this reminds me of the time last August when Satoh and I were flying to Korea, and The Mars Volta were in the airport with us. I mean, these guys were all OVER the place -- every time I looked up, there were the guys from The Mars Volta all up in my face -- I'm not kidding. 

And I just remember, we went down to the basement area where you go through Immigration, and sure enough, there they are again, right up in my face... And I remember standing there thinking how I wanted to tell Satoh who they were, but knew it would mean NOTHING whatsoever to him that one of the most critically-acclaimed bands on the planet was making a scene in front of us. 

Oh, and I also remember thinking how much I actually hate The Mars Volta's music. Well, I don't hate it, obviously -- but when you can't even get through the 30-second previews on iTunes... I mean, when you try to listen to every song's preview from their latest CD, and you can't sit through even ONE of them -- a mere THIRTY SECONDS is all it takes! -- but when you can't even sit through THAT, then I think that gives you the literary license to write on your website that you "hate" their music. 

They seemed to be having fun, anyway, in their stylishly unkempt tweed jackets, horn-rimmed glasses and wild-man afros.   
  

5 February 2006

So, the official name of the band is The Mars Volta -- capital T, capital M, capital V. The definite article -- "The" --  is actually part of the band's name. But if I'm talking about the members of that band, should I type: 

"I was standing in the airport with the Mars Volta guys"... (ignore the capital T since the word "the" is just functioning as the definite article)... 

Or should I type: 

"I was standing in the airport with The Mars Volta guys"... (capital T)...

Or finally:

"I was standing in the airport with the The Mars Volta guys"...?!?

I'd honestly like to know which is correct. 

. . .

Have you ever preached on Genesis 38? 

You know that chapter, don't you? The one about Judah and Tamar? Yeah -- THAT one... Where the guy gets overly familiar with his daughter-in-law, in a truly "Biblical" way... 

Ever tried to preach on that? 

I have.

Well, at least half-way. I started today, and I swear, I only got about halfway thru and it took me 40 minutes. The GOOD part is that the reason it took so long was we had a good crowd today (translation and discussion of vocabulary takes a LONG time when four languages are represented). The GOOD part is that I had a lot to say and was trying to lay the ground work for the lessons I've learned from this story (thanks to God). The GOOD part is that it seemed like we were all having fun. 

The BAD part is that, ... well, like I said, I only got halfway through it. 

And so, without any prior intentions of doing so, and in what therefore must be an utterly unprecedented move, I stopped mid-paragraph and said, "Okay, come back next week and we'll finish"... 

And that's EXACTLY what we plan to do, too. I mean, I don't know if a single person will return or what, but I had no choice, honestly. 

So come back next week and get the payoff, or stay at home and forever wonder how someone can take a story where EVERYONE either dies or sins horribly and turn it into a sermon. 

. . .

Just a few minutes ago I was eating my dinner -- at 10:30pm on a Sunday night -- and reading the book A Peace To End All Peace, by David Fromkin (subtitled, "The Fall Of The Ottoman Empire And The Creation Of The Modern Middle East")... 

As he is discussing the British plans (in 1917) to handle the recently-conquered Mesopotamian provinces (which primarily included territory in modern Iraq around Basra and Baghdad), the author says: 

Oh -- this book was written in 1989, by the way.

Meanwhile, thousands around the world continue to riot and wreak havoc because of a cartoon. Dude, a CARTOON... 

(Please file both items under: "Things That Make You Go 'Hmmmm'")...
  

8 February 2006

Just saw this headline:

"Islamic groups call for end to cartoon riots"

I expected the article to say they were calling in the Super Friends to quell the riots, but then I realized they meant the REAL riots where REAL people were KILLING each other over a cartoon -- not literally "cartoon riots" (where merely cartoon people were being killed).

I mean, really, dude -- people are being KILLED. Not attacked, not injured, not permanently maimed -- but actually KILLED, over a cartoon.  

It just reminds me that I heard the other day -- on a video clip from Tehran -- that the reporter said the publication of those cartoons "will go down as one of the darkest moments in the history of man"...

(Okay, okay -- obviously these people aren't rioting over the cartoons -- it's MUCH more than that... I get it, see?... but STILL)...  
   

10 February 2006

Swiped this from the Onion:

16 February 2006

The Olympics are in Italy, right? But are they in Torino, or Turin? Or is that the same place? 

We've had a bit of an argument here, because I was saying (at first) that they are being held in Turin -- and then I was making vaguely comical allusions to the infamous alleged relic, the so-called Shroud of Turin. 

But then people started saying, "No, it's not in Turin, it's in Torino" -- in response to which I, like all good citizens of the digital age, went on the internet and looked it up. 

The summary of my intense research: The Yahoo! Sports webpage covering the Olympics has a web address that clearly has the word "Torino" in it... But the page itself lists the location as "Turin"... 

Score: Confusion = 1, Me = 0....

So you tell me... Seriously -- I don't ask this rhetorically -- I honestly want to know which it is... If you know please share the love. 

. . .

I have a friend in Hong Kong who is a prolific inventor. Now, this is a guy who lists upwards of 300 inventions to his credit -- THREE HUNDRED, dude. He is always thinking and always coming up with new ideas and concepts. 

One of his specialties recently is in the area of energy production and the efficiency of energy-producing systems. You know, creating electrical power generators with magnets and coils, etc., but making them increasingly efficient so that less and less power is required to keep them running. It's all a bit more complicated than I can follow, but I know he is very excited about the possibilities...

Anyway, he just sent me an e-mail updating me on his work and family life, and he ended his lengthy tome with this line, which I may adopt as my own personal motto:

"No girl, no woman, only Magnets!"
  

20 February 2006

Glenn vs The Kitchen
I just made my first batch of spaghetti. Which is to say, the first batch I've made in my life. As in my WHOLE life. As in EVER.... 

This is something that I've been working up to for quite some time. But for myriad reasons, tonight was that magical night when it all came together -- the noodles, the bottled water, the package of ready-made carbonara sauce that comes in a pouch... And with the strength of ten men I summoned my courage (and free time) and said, "This is it -- this is the night when I'm going to make it happen!"

And I did. 

You perhaps assume I'm TRYING to be ironic, or something -- TRYING to be melodramatic about the mundane for some vaguely-comical reasons. But if you are thinking that way, it's because you have forgotten that I am a nearly 40-year-old single guy who only just last month boiled my first egg. That's right -- the first egg I've boiled in my life. 

So this is SOMETHING to me -- it's not nothing. It's SOMETHING for me to be doing this. 

What's the inspiration for this sudden culinary exploration? Why, after all these years, am I rocketing up the Chef Boyardee learning curve? 

Dig: I hate cooking, friend, I really do. I hate it. I mean I hate the very IDEA of it -- nay, even the Platonic IDEAL of it... 

But even a cooking-hating guy gets to the point -- I suppose all of us do, though some later than others (cough) -- but you get to the point when you finally have to face reality. You have to face the facts as they are. You have to go to the kitchen with the life you HAVE, not the life you WISH you had... 

And the angels (er, demons?!?) sitting on your shoulder, whispering in your ear -- their voices get STRONGER, see? And not just that, but you finally give in, and accept that what they've been telling you isn't crazy talk -- it's the TRUTH:

"In Japan you do NOT have enough money to go to restaurants anymore." "You are NOT going to stumble upon any store in Japan that sells delicious and healthy meals for pennies." "Your dream of finding a cute girl who knows that the best way to your heart is through your stomach -- I mean, the dream of finding that girl, whoever and wherever she is, who would be willing to trade her cooking for your washing the dishes, all domestic and lovey-dovey style  -- dude, that just AIN'T in keeping with reality at this point... well, and BESIDES the fact that it makes it sound like her COOKING would be more important than her HEART -- besides THAT -- it ALSO makes you sound like some kind of weird sexist pig, Mr. 'Please Serve Me My Dinner'..." "Oh, and by the way -- you're an idiot"...

(you get the idea)...

On and on it goes, until you see it -- finally, you see the LIGHT...

And it HURTS...

And you hang your head, and let slip a long, cathartic sigh, and you finally --  after almost 40 years of fighting -- you finally go to the store, and you buy a spatula. And you buy a vegetable peeler. And you buy a cutting board. And you start with simple things like heating some soup, or boiling an egg, or cutting up some vegetables for a salad -- and you work your way up from there.  

And eventually, if you persevere, you make some spaghetti with ready-made carbonara sauce that comes in a pouch. 

I am fully aware of how stupid and pathetic this sounds to you. But this is not nothing -- it's SOMETHING, I tell you. This is a big deal for me, and it's required a sea change in my very identity. 

And if you think I'm stupid and weak for that, then fine. Come cook me dinner and maybe I'll listen to your mockery...  

. . .

Turin vs Torino
It's finally been explained to me about the name of the town where the Olympiads are Olympiating these days.

Turns out the name of this place in ITALIAN is "Torino" -- but in English we call it "Turin"... 

Okay, so my question is, why in the freaking world would any English-speaking person then call it Torino?!? As one of my friends pointed out, we don't call Rome "ROMA" do we?!? No, of COURSE we don't, we call it ROME, you idiot. We don't call Venice "VINCI" or whatever the heck it is in Italian -- well, DO we?!??

(I have NO IDEA what the Italian name of Venice is, and I don't care -- because I don't speak Italian -- I speak ENGLISH, see?!? I don't even know what the Italian *IS* for that city -- do you see my point?!?) 

So please tell me, why in the flying face of logic would we suddenly call this one stinking town, which in fact is FAMOUS in English by it's ENGLISH name -- why would we suddenly be caught up in a frenzy of psuedo-Italianese and start calling it by a completely different name?!??

Stupid... 

Oh, and speaking of why TURIN is famous, here's the alternative Mascot for the Olympics as offered by my favorite website, the Onion:

 
That's right -- it's Shroudy the Mascot!

. . .

Cavs vs Clippers

I just saw that LeBron James won the MVP award at the All-Stars game. The photo above shows him using his enormous muskles to make you -- yeah, YOU! -- look like a FOOL, fool... I mean, come on, that guy is a TANK. 

Did I tell you I got to see the Cavs play the Clippers in Cleveland when I was home back in December? My friend Dr. Chris Hayes got tickets because of their involvement with the March of Dimes (it was somehow "March of Dimes Night" or something like that). We even got to go down onto mid-court before the game, where they announced our presence, showed us on the Jumbo-Tron, and made everyone wave hello to us!! No joke... 
   

Chris is as excited as I am  about being on that big screen	Preparing for our entry onto the court

Of course, we've been there before, right? We've been courtside for so many games in our lives, it really doesn't mean that much at this point. But still, maybe that was it -- it brought back a lot of memories, you know? 

Well, SOME of you know what I mean by that. 

Anyway, it was Cavs vs the Clippers, and I expected nothing from the game, but it ended up being so incredibly cool. I mean, the NBA, dawg. The NBA, you know?!?

I had so much fun, that even now -- months later -- I can't express it. I loved that night. 

The Cavs won in overtime -- it was even a good game. And we got free bobble-heads of that Czech guy who plays center, and free hats, to boot. 

Can't ask for more than that, honestly... 
   

22 February 2006

Just for kicks, I've uploaded some samples from the worship CD we've been recording. You can check it out HERE.

Don't laugh. 

. . .

One more thing -- on iTunes I just now saw a review of a CD that said:

"The good thing about this album is that each song sounds a bit like the others, but not in the way you would think. This way, each song is good."